faith – Page 3 – Light to grow in; reflections by Genevieve Howard

Why I retreat in silence and slippers

February 19, 2014March 11, 2014Posted in UncategorizedTagged Christianity, faith, inspiration6 Comments

I’m counting down the hours until this weekend; I’ll have a sleepover with dozens of women where we worship, eat, do crafts, sing, laugh, pray and have silent time together. I’ll be at the Broadway Women’s Retreat.

Why go on a retreat? It gives me a long view of my life when I remove myself from the daily routine. It’s hard to see a pattern from the inside. Going on a retreat pulls me out of the pattern so I can see it from a distance.

I do much of my life by habit. It’s a good thing because if I had to decide every moment, I wouldn’t have the energy to get through the day. With my thoughtful deliberation style of decision-making, I would probably get stalled out before 7 a.m. Habits are like little times of coasting. They allow me to function.

During retreat, I stop the motion and momentum of my life; I step away from the memorized choreography. It’s like an open-ended time to hear the music again. What was this dance about again?

Preparing myself to retreat

To prepare myself mentally, I’m working on letting go of as much mental clutter as possible. I plan to make a master list of all the obligations I have; get the worries out of my head and onto paper where they look more harmless. I will cut ties with my responsibilities. No household to keep going, no animals with needs, no meals to cook, no deadlines to meet.

I spend a lot of energy on self-improvement and meeting the needs of others. I care about achievement and seek betterment for everyone. In retreat, I put all that aside. This is time where I only seek honesty in my relationship with God. Less self, less responsibilities, more God.

My single focus will be opening my mind to the Spirit. I hope to relax. I normally chug through like a paddle boat, churning up the waters of my feelings. In relaxation, my emotions become clearer. With clearer emotions, I can feel more of the Spirit.

In retreat, I get a hint of how to align my will with God’s will. What are the subtle promptings? What do I need to refresh? What do I need to discard? What parts of the pattern of my life don’t make sense anymore?

As I soak in contemplation for 36 hours, I plan to wear my slippers as much as possible.

Your prayers

I would welcome your prayers that I have a nourishing retreat. If you have something on your heart that you would like me to take into silent prayer this weekend, send me an email, fill out the comment form that will send me an email or let me know in the comments below before the end of day Thursday, Feb. 20, 2014.

Blessing

Lord, you always seek us.
Let us make time to step out of our routines
and step into open-ended time with you,
free of distractions,
free of expectations,
free of responsibilities.
Our noisy world of cares will wait.
Help us breathe and relax.
Let us pray without distraction.

Remind us we were children who
delighted in blowing seeds of a dandelion.
Refresh us with a sense of wonder.
Turn our hearts to seek you as
you always seek us.

Bless the ones who keep things going
while we are on retreat.
Bless the ones too busy to join a retreat.
Bless the ones too scared or too jaded to consider silence.

Bless the ones who confuse your silence with a lack of caring.

We can stop for a day,
a few hour, or a few moments and
find you.
In finding you, we find peace.
May we all live in your peace.

Tell me your thoughts!

Have you ever gone on a retreat? What did you get from it? What kind of retreat would you like to go on? Have you ever tried a little one-hour mini retreat?

Let true love be the victor on V-day!

February 12, 2014March 11, 2014Posted in UncategorizedTagged faith, loving, Valentine10 Comments

Do you believe in love? Not just romantic love but love-your-neighbor love. If you do, then Valentine’s Day was made for you.

Even before I was married (when I was a “single Pringle” as my son would say), I delighted in the holiday. People in couples smiled chocolaty smiles with rosy-colored eyes. Single people seemed flirtier. I loved having a day to celebrate love.

I was always of the inkling to celebrate the way we did in grade school, passing out chocolate kisses and Valentines to the whole class. We decorated shoeboxes with too much white glue and paper doilies to act as our special mailboxes. (I have always relished getting notes which is why I so thoroughly enjoy your comments, texts and emails about this blog—thank you, treasured readers! Reading your messages is just as much fun as passing folded paper notes between class.)

We analyzed the various cards we collected. Did the Six Million Dollar Man beat Wonder Woman? Hello Kitty and Snoopy duked it out, fighting like cats and dogs.

Ways to celebrate

Not much is known about the real St. Valentine. Whether he’s legend or fact, let’s be champions of love together on February 14.

Road rage to road sage: when you’re on the road in the frenzied moment of commute and someone does something rude (you know they will), say out loud, “I forgive you” in place of your normal curse. You still get credit even if you yell it.

Invisible love arrows of blessing: look for someone who seems worn out, discouraged or irritable, and envision them surrounded by God’s love. Think a little secret blessing for the person.

Gift of three: pick a friend (or a few!) and send them three things you appreciate about them. Make the reasons as detailed as you can. It could be something unique and quirky about their personality, or a way they make your life sweeter, such as, I appreciate your generosity in letting me sleep in a few minutes later in the morning while you go out in 10 degree weather to feed the horse and pony. Then you come in and wake me up with a cup of hot tea. (Now that is true romance to me!!)

I plan to spend the day with extra smiles for all those I see. Love is a wonderful reason for a holiday and it shouldn’t be restricted to only couples, canned romance and bought gifts. Let’s take it back for everyone, get out our glue and doilies, and get to work!

Won’t you be my Valentine?

Blessing

God, the source of all love, lift up the lonely who
feel pain especially on holidays like this.
In all our relationships, help us be quick in our affections
and slow in our irritations.
Heal our hearts with your holy hand of comfort so
we walk through the world as your very own,
obvious to all by our loving actions and steadfast presence.

Tell me your thoughts!

What are your plans for Valentine’s Day? Is it a day you cherish or dread?

Electric People

January 22, 2014March 11, 2014Posted in UncategorizedTagged Christianity, faith, family6 Comments

We are an electric people. We don’t think about it much until we think of the Amish. Clark, Missouri, is known for its Amish community. I went with some friends this week to visit the shops for Amish goods.

It would be easy to romanticize their culture, as if this is how we used to be. We were more neighborly perhaps. Even today, if we lived amongst our own religious group with a set of common interests and goals, we would have a completely different outlook. Most of us live rather randomly today, picking a community in general and a house specifically.

In Amish country, we drove slowly. About half the traffic were horse and buggies. The road showed unusual wear: if you looked closely, you can see the worn strips from horse shoes. Nothing seemed to go to waste. Even the grass in the ditches next to the road went to use, populated with chickens and horses.

A small investment in the store brought me a basket filled with bulk spices. I stayed close to the wood stove that warmed the store. The spicy smell mixed with a scent of apples and burning wood. They sold potatoes and flour by the 50 lb. bags.

Outside the car window, I saw hay gathered in tied haystacks. It made me think of Van Gogh.

What stood out the most to me was the laundry. We were visiting on a Monday, traditionally laundry day. When we drove through, it was mid-morning and 40 degrees. They must have been washing while it was still dark to have it already hung. I would like to think it was a weekly load that hung out on the lines that often stretched more than 50 feet. If what I saw hanging out was the daily load, then God bless them.

I respect that the Amish have been intentional and made decisions about technology as a community. Amish society 100 years ago probably looked different than Amish society today. But they got together to plan how to change and why. We decide as individuals how much we want technology to intrude but it’s difficult to resist the tide of faster, better, more. Distractions have always existed, but now they are expertly targeted to distract us: Play more! Buy more! You deserve it! Bright colors, flashy lights, doesn’t this thing look good? Click click click!

Electronic screens made a fence between us

Kids moved independently throughout the community. A dark, lanky horse moved out in a quick trot. A boy of around 10 held the reins of a two-wheeled cart. We saw sisters walking to the store, hand in hand. They waved in friendly greeting to us when we passed.

Tonight I watched the news. They talked about the problem of teenagers using Snapchat with untraceable messages. Parents can’t know what photo was taken or what was said. “Your parents don’t know, your girlfriend doesn’t know.” They discussed the lack of accountability.

After our trip to the Amish country, I got home with my electricity. They installed our new dishwasher. I had two loads of dishes waiting. I put them in and the washer was so quiet, I could hardly hear it.

I filled up my washing machine with our clothes. I took a moment to watch them twirl and fall.

With my machines, I have time to write, walk the dogs and crochet for fun instead of income. As I wrote this blog post, I wondered if I’m too dependent on machines. Have I lost my appreciation? I looked up from my laptop to ask someone but my husband was focused on Candy Crush and my son was texting.

We are an electric people.

Blessing

Lord, let me remember I can survive without
conveniences.
Things of the world are nice but not necessary.
What matters is a birthday meal shared with friends.

Help us see another birthday as a blessing. Because each
birthday is.

Let me pull my attention away from
electronic devices and back to people
who thrive with our eye contact, our hugs and
our listening.

Lord, help me be an emissary of your love.

Tell me your thoughts!

Have you ever visited Amish country? How did it affect you? What do you depend on that wouldn’t work without electricity? What kind of simplicity attracts you? What do you think the world will look like when the teenagers of today are grandparents?

Kitchen sink altar

January 15, 2014March 11, 2014Posted in UncategorizedTagged faith, friendship, inspiration, spirituality17 Comments

There is a wonderful Zen story about a monk—new to the monastery—who asks the master what he should do. The master asks if he’s eaten his rice. The new monk says yes, he has eaten. The master says, “Then wash your bowl.”

It was a story I heard growing up. It’s meant to be meditated on, but a simple lesson from it is to focus on the now and take care of each mess as you make it. What an honorable quest! What an admirable lifestyle!

Then there is me and my reality. Rather than the “dirty a bowl, wash a bowl” style, our family subscribes to the “let the sink collect dirty bowls until it’s overfull.” I love to cook and seem to use as many bowls as they do on cooking shows. My teenage son prefers to get a fresh dish for each bowl of cereal, and he’s been known to go through a box of cereal in a day.

If you do the math on our bowl use, you can see my spiritual aspiration is in conflict with my reality. We bought a new dishwasher this week.

It will free up at least a half-hour a day of washing. We will be glad to have the machine’s help. I hope I still wash by hand once in a while. It does me good.

From mundane to devotional

My hands plunge in the warm, soapy water; I restore the dirty to clean. A mess of dishes becomes a rack of organized utensils. Cups stand proud next to one another. Forks mingle with spoons like a friendly cocktail hour. Plates look like railings on the deck, even and upright.

As I wash, I look at the sill above the sink. It is a three-inch altar. I keep my treasures there. I have a rock that says Love Much from my friend, B., a souvenir from a morning when we watched Who Does She Think She Is, a documentary on women artists. It reminds me to love much and be strong in my art!

Another rock on the sill from a summertime trip with my childhood friend, A., encourages, Shine!

The star of the sill is the aloe plant. My aloe was from a church member, C., who brings in batches of the babies to share with us at church. She was in a small group with Susie, the original grower of the aloe. Although Susie has gone to glory, her bright spirit, her generosity and her plants—Susie’s babies—live on through her friends. The plant now reminds me of friendship and how friendships thrive with close personal care just like plants. My aloe has outgrown its pot. It needs to be split and repotted. I will be able to pass on one of Susie’s babies.

Next to the green aloe stands the red Dala horse. My parents got it for me during their trip to the factory in Sweden. Similar to my live red horse outside the kitchen window, it cheers me up with its pert ears and neat style.

A crystal and a cross hang in the window. My mom always hung crystals in all her kitchens to make rainbows. When the sun shines, we have rainbows the size of thumbnails sprinkled through the kitchen.

A little kitschy—a lot fun—I recently added a little apron to our soap bottle. I’m happy to see that we don’t take our decor too seriously! Each time I use the soap, the well-dressed bottle charms me.

It can be a troubling world with intense pressures, needs from family members and news of shootings. You can make the places you frequent in your home into safe havens. Add reminders of people you love and say blessings for them. With visible reminders of faith, you can feel protected as you face daily tasks.

We can’t change our chores. We will eat and make dirty dishes, sometimes by the dozens! But we can change our space to amuse and support our spirit while we tackle our tasks.

As Brother Lawrence says, “We ought not to be weary of doing little things for the love of God, who regards not the greatness of the work, but the love with which it is performed.”

Blessing

Lord, keep us in small ways: a cozy home
with all the comforts of ordinary days.
Let us remember a safe home
with nourishing meals and hot water
are bigger blessings that we realize.
When we see dirty dishes,
remind us you are with us in our daily chores and repeated tasks.

You reveal what is real in soapy water and kitchen sink meditations.

Tell me your thoughts!

Do you have a place where you already feel peaceful and protected? Where else in your home—maybe the laundry room or a bathroom sink—could be a place to add reminders to pray or praise God? Which items can you find that would link you to happy memories or positive relationships? What would bring you a smile?

Everyone who leaves a comment will be entered in a drawing to win one of my handmade soap bottle aprons! I will draw on Friday (Jan. 17, 2014) afternoon. Good luck! 😀

***Thanks to everybody who left a comment! I appreciated reading them all. This contest has concluded. I’ve tagged the winner in the comments below!***

Forget resolutions…Sing in the new year!

January 1, 2014March 11, 2014Posted in UncategorizedTagged faith, Music, new year's resolution, spirituality14 Comments

When my son was little, we sang to him every night. We had a song book and picked songs each night. He liked to request his favorites like Blackbird and Baby Beluga. It is possible we sang Baby Beluga 5,000 times. Well, at least 1,000! We enjoyed Michael Row Your Boat Ashore, Swing Low Sweet Chariot and Dirty Old Town.

We stopped singing him to sleep when he grew older, but we kept the daily singing habit. Now we sing spontaneously about doing the laundry, watering the plants or making coffee. We are enthusiastic, determined and throaty but not what you would call “good singers.”

I believe singing—even (or especially!) amateur attempts like ours—is natural and holy.

I’m grateful we started the tradition of singing because it makes our home cheery. Even a little hum helps grow happiness. Try it right now! Hmmmmmm

Find your power

In church on Sunday, I sat in front of a professionally trained singer named Kathy. With a voice as clear as meditation, she found the notes for us. She made it easier to join the harmony and our pew sounded better than usual. She clarified our muddy sounds on the strength of her ability alone.

It’s important to surround yourself with strong people. If you are around watered-down people, you will find dilution normal. Find people who are seeking what you are seeking so you can travel together. Befriend people who use their voices. They can help you find your song.

Forget resolutions

I love list-making, planning and SMART goal setting. Most years, I relish the opportunity to make resolutions. But not this year. After prayer, I recognized that if I focus on Spirit and the joy of living, everything else will fall in place. Rather than set goals, I need to relax and let God work.

Instead of a resolution for 2014, I have decided to pick a theme song. My song for this year will be Simple Gifts. I plan to sing or hear it every day. I will let the lyrics speak to me and guide my life.

I hope we sing our whole lives, even when we are frail and our legs stop working. I hope we’ll sing about that.

And then when we lose our voices, I hope we’ll sing with our eyes.

Blessing

Lord,
all the earth hums your frequency of union.
Our lives overlap like a musical round.
May we sing your name so it rings out
over mountains
in rivers
above clouds.

Help us shed our self-absorption.
Keep our focus on you.
Like the little drummer boy,
may we offer you all we have with pure hearts.

Bless us with reasons to sing and
voices to make a joyful sound!

Tell me your thoughts!

Is there a part of your life that needs healing or adjustment? What music soothes your soul? Who makes you sing better? What will your song be for 2014? I’d love to hear from you!

A wish for Christmas ponies everywhere

December 25, 2013March 11, 2014Posted in UncategorizedTagged change, Christmas, faith, Pony8 Comments

The small flaxen chestnut pony had only known life for a little more than a year. There had never been enough to eat. She was part of a neglected herd.

She was forgotten, or ignored, or impossible to feed due to hard times.

When Longmeadow Rescue Ranch rescued her, she was sick and starving. She weighed half what she should, light as a fairy, a skeleton of herself. They named her Pixie.

The horses that had been with her died.

Death spared her. The vet gave her more medicine. The staff and volunteers nursed her to health. They believed in her. She gained weight and got healthy. In about six months’ time, she was ready for adoption.

It was a cool day in December when we drove to the farm. We had four ponies to see as potential companions. She was the first we saw. Young, I thought. Skittish.

We looked at the others. The second and third weren’t suitable. The fourth was trained and grown. I thought he would be the best choice.

I asked my family, “Which one do you think?”

They both smiled in agreement. My son said, “We like the first one.”

I sighed and asked if we could see the first one again. I walked in the stall.

The young pony stood in the corner, shy and hesitant. I bent down. She took a step toward me and nuzzled my hair.

“Aww,” said my husband. Although I couldn’t see his heart, I could tell it was melted like butter on the stove.

I had my doubts. This pony was only a long yearling and seemed flighty. I would have some training work in front of me. On the plus side, I could tell she was intelligent and curious.

Then he said the clincher, “This is the face I want to feed every morning.”

That sealed it. The final consideration in getting any animal for us was always picking the one we wanted to see every day. We want our animals to be a source of joy.

The week of Christmas 2011, my generous friend with a horse trailer agreed to drive the 120 miles to pick her up. She even brought one of her ponies so our newly adopted Pixie pony would have company and feel more comfortable on the long trip.

Once home on our land, our Christmas girl Pixie has blossomed. She’s grown calm, confident and sociable. She knows our routine and flourishes in it. Far from a wraith, she stays in good condition, fuzzy and fun.

She nickers every time she sees us. She follows me along the fence line even if I am just out to adjust our horse Miko’s blanket, and it’s nowhere near mealtime. She knows I can’t resist giving her a treat! I always duck in the barn to get her a little something.

Her fuzzy lips stroke my palm as she takes the carrots. Even after two years, I feel giddy to have my own pony.

She is an everyday delight.

My Christmas wish

May all the little girls who wish for ponies get them, and may all the little ponies get the care they need.

May the hungry be found and fed.

May the cold be brought in, and the forgotten remembered.

May the grieving be embraced.

May the oppressed be lifted up from the mire to a life of clean air, clean water and justice.

May the lonely be given as much laughter as they can hold until the light of joy burns away their shadows.

The night is cold. Crystalline stars shine. Somewhere a young woman is outside, overlooked and turned away. Her newborn baby is wrapped in cloths.

Let us be the ones to welcome God inside.

A guide to gift-giving: the single gift you need to give

December 11, 2013March 11, 2014Posted in UncategorizedTagged Christmas, faith, Gift, gifts, giving, Writing9 Comments

My father was a successful executive when I was growing up. I was the only child at home in the 1980s. I remember fat times and lean times. During the good times, we lived in a nice subdivision and ate at fine Chicagoland restaurants.

When things were going well, our Christmas tree had presents that stretched out beyond the branches of the tree to the edge of the room. My parents were generous. I opened lavish and luxurious gifts: cashmere sweaters, a Casio keyboard, Atari 2600 game system, new leather tack for my horse and an electric typewriter.

When it was a time of unemployment, the tree branches overhung a handful of small boxes. The contrast from flush years made it seem like we were in desperate times. We weren’t, but I was too young to understand the difference between belt-tightening and true financial trouble.

In my life, I have experienced both extremes of luxury and poverty. Because of my experience at both ends, I wanted the holiday to stay modest for my son. I wanted to be sure that I could be consistent.

A time to spend, a time to wrap

What are your memories of Christmas?

Do you splurge on gifts? Do you show your love through gift-giving? Do you spend more money than is comfortable for your family’s financial situation?

This time of year encourages us to be financially irresponsible in the name of Christmas. We see romanticized ads showing happy families due to the perfect purchased items. Everyone looks joyful.

Yet our families haven’t changed just because it’s snowing and the nights are long. They will stay our families: wonderful, annoying, entertaining, vexing.

One of the best Christmas gifts I get from my mother-in-law is a long letter from her heart that she includes with the gifts she sends. She writes about the qualities she appreciates in me. I keep these notes in my journal and enjoy looking back at them.

You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late. –Ralph Waldo Emerson

Slow down, dang it! It’s Christmas!

The typical Christian message this time of year is to slow down and remember the real reason of the season. I’m all for that. I also know that this is one of the fullest and busiest times of the year for me. I go to more parties, do more baking and shop more than any other month. It’s unlikely I will have wide swaths of time for prayer and reflection.

But I can take ten minutes to write a few notes. I will tuck them in the presents. I will let the people in my life know why they matter.

Interested in writing some too? Here are some ideas with examples:

Say how the person affects you. Describe details about what you appreciate and why, such as, I appreciate how responsible you are with the animals when I come home late from work. It means so much to know they’ve been fed and watered. It’s a great feeling to be able to walk in the door and relax instead of deal with six hungry mouths.
Include something unique. List a quality your loved one might have, such as, I appreciate your ability to laugh off irritating situations at work. It is such a better commute home together when you are upbeat instead of depressed, despite a tough day.
Tell the story of a specific memory about something that happened during the year that stood out to you. After you got your driver’s license, you offered to go get groceries for us. I thought that was so generous and helpful.
Keep it short. Don’t feel like you need to go on for pages. A paragraph or two is plenty. You have a way of lightening the room when you smile. I appreciate your good nature even when I’m grumpy. Thank you for being a sunny person!
Do it now. One note of a few words today is worth more than the intention to write everyone you know entire novelettes. You have been there for me through three dozen hairstyles. Thank you for keeping the mullet jokes to a minimum.

Going forward, all the latest fancy gadgets will become quaint and outdated (remember the Atari and Casio I mentioned?). Clothing will get worn out. The popular games and music will be replaced by desire for the next new thing.

They might lose the notes you write, but the messages you give to your loved ones will be written on their hearts.

The effect of a love letter never ends. Write yours today!

Big Thank You Book Giveaway: my poetry book!

Have you gotten a note you treasure? Whom do you plan to write a note to? How is this Advent season going for you? Let me know anything on your mind and heart in the comments! I have my fifth and last book to give away and everyone who leaves a comment will get a chance to win it. It is my book of poetry from 2011 titled take. I will draw on Friday, Dec. 13, 2013 at 3 p.m. Good luck!

Blue icing and dried grass: a Thanksgiving prayer

November 27, 2013March 11, 2014Posted in UncategorizedTagged faith, Prayer, Thanksgiving5 Comments

God, we thank you for this life,
babies born and growing,
hands covered in blue icing from
a first-birthday cupcake.

Thank you for babies who become kids in college
and turn in final papers and
shine in visible brightness.
Bless the next wave of your people.

We thank for you for
the memory of loved ones
gone on to glory.
The funeral flowers have wilted.
The hymns quieted down.
For all those who notice an absence
at the table, comfort them.

We thank you for this feast and
all the people who brought it to us:
the turkey farmers who dedicate
all their days to the care of the birds
and the turkey farmers’ daughters who
have to be understanding about
their fathers never taking a vacation
because farming is an everyday job.

We thank you for all your creatures,
horses who only ask for water and dried grass,
dogs who nap at our sides and
appreciate scraps from the table.
A walk is ever new to them,
always cause for celebration.
They show us the reason for joy
can be simple.

We remember the ones without hope
and pray for their salvation.
The agonized, the lonely, the lost.
Let them know it’s not too late to remember
your love.

Bless the ones who suffer,
who have come out of surgery
and need your healing.
Ease their pain.

Bless the ones who wait in the hospital,
who don’t know what will happen,
who know they should pray but
find themselves worrying when the lights
go down and the corridors go quiet.
Even with all the medical machines,
it can be so quiet.
Lord, let them hear you.

Bless the wives who witness their husbands decline,
the bodies once the height of strength become
frail. The men never imagined their tree-climbing days would end.
They want to stand straight but their spines bend as hooks do.
When did I become old? they wonder. When did gravity win?
The wives soldier on with patience and bring cups of water.
They smile with determination as they accept good wishes.
They make the best of it.
They don’t let themselves fall apart.
Keep them together; help them travel
a difficult road.

Bless the daughter who visits her mother,
but her mother cannot speak.
Her mother doesn’t remember.
Her mother can no longer walk.
Her gardening and laughter are over.
Her mind has bleached into one long snowy landscape,
details covered over;
white stillness stretches from now until
the end of her days.
The brave daughter holds her mother’s thin hand,
warming it between her palms,
giving it a squeeze.
It has to be enough.
Please give your blessing to
the mothers who have forgotten and
the daughters who have not.

We praise you,
not because our lives are easy,
not just for obvious blessings,
but for air to breathe and
another day of life.
Rejoice!
Be glad!
This is the day to
thank you.

What you mean to me

November 20, 2013March 11, 2014Posted in UncategorizedTagged faith, personal growth, self talk, Writing15 Comments

You can find more reasons to stay put than move toward your goal.

It’s too hard. I don’t know enough. I don’t like being uncomfortable. I’m too old. I’m not experienced enough. There are already so many people doing it.

I’m scared.

And the biggest one, I’m not good enough.

Starting this blog at the beginning of the year with my first post, I heard my loudest inner critic say in a snide tone, “I’m not a good enough writer. I’m not a good enough Christian.”

It’s a risk to go for a dream. I’ll admit to you, I wasn’t sure what would happen. What if, instead of a place for us with light to grow in, this blog was a ghost town on the web, just me and some tumbleweeds with the occasional lizard running through?

Yet I felt I had to try. Under the voice of my inner critic, I heard a calling like a melodious whisper that I wanted to answer.

Seeing what happens

What happened exceeded my hopes! You, my beloved readers, made this experiment worthwhile. You passed on the word about the blog.

You stopped me for a quick visit about how you could relate to what I said.

You left comments that touched my heart and emails that I have saved in my journal.

You said, “I can relate.”

You strengthen me. You bless me.

I felt less alone. I realized that we’re working toward common goals of growing our faith, our compassion and our ability to enjoy life.

This Thanksgiving, I’ll be giving thanks for you, my valued readers.

The critic comes every week. I hear that same disparaging voice with its prediction of failure and the assessment of “not good enough.”

But friendship and support are stronger, steadier, louder. The sense of togetherness affirms that I should keep going.

As hard as it is, as little as I know, as badly as I write, as much as I stumble and drop communion on my way toward God, I will keep going.

I appreciate you for coming with me!

Big Thank You Book Giveaway

As a thank you, I’m giving away five different books. I wish I could give all of you a book and sit down with you over a cup of tea, but the budget wouldn’t allow it 😀

Comment on today’s blog and you’ll be entered in the random drawing!

You can leave a comment here until noon, Friday, Nov. 22, 2013, when I will randomly pick the winner of the first book, Daily Guideposts 2014, a Spirit-lifting Devotional. A friend at church recommended this book, and I plan to use it in 2014.

The fun will continue with four more books to give away on social media with my Facebook page Genevieve A. Howard and Twitter @HowGen, so join me there!

Good luck and BIG THANK YOU!

Are you letting weeds grow in your life?

November 13, 2013March 11, 2014Posted in UncategorizedTagged Christianity, faith, personal growth10 Comments

It was a hot afternoon July 4, 2000. I had been a homeowner for 11 days.

We bought ten and a half acres of land in the country, a mix of pasture and woods. Our house was about 175 feet from the gravel road, inside a barbed wire fence.

When I looked out our picture window toward the road, I saw weeds. Not small, easily overlooked knee-high weeds, the tender, innocent type of greenery that could be forgiven because it was pretty (I have a soft spot for the cheery faces of dandelions in the spring). I saw weeds taller than my own height of six feet: giant ragweed.

I changed to raggedy jeans and a t-shirt. After tromping to the barn for a tool I deemed suitable for battle with ragweed (a machete), I began to hack away.

And hack. And hack. I could only work at their bases above the ground, trying to topple them; they were too big to uproot.

The woody stems were almost as thick as my wrist. They refused to let go of life without a sturdy fight.

Having moved to Missouri a year and a half earlier, I was new to the state and didn’t know much about ragweed. For example, that I’m highly allergic to it.

My nose ran. Where I dripped sweat—which was everywhere—yellow pollen stuck to me. My hands were red and puffy. I alternated between puffing and wheezing. My eyes got bulgy. I could feel them tearing up.

The bout reached a decisive moment for victory.

Gen vs. Ragweed

OFFICIAL FIGHT ANALYSIS: Gen outmatched, exhausted and overheated, falls with a defeat time of one hour despite being in a much higher weight class. Ragweed wins, celebrates its victory by standing proud in 95-degree weather.

I gave up. Back inside with iced tea and air conditioning, I looked out the picture window again.

In my new home for less than two weeks, I was already defeated by a weed with a nature for knockout through fast growth, allergens and strong stems.

I surveyed my work down the fence line. I’d removed about a four-foot-square area.

It was hardly noticeable compared to the 120′ of ragweed that stretched across the front.

We had some work to do.

The Harvest Story

A farmer planted seed. As he scattered the seed, some of it fell on the road, and birds ate it. Some fell in the gravel; it sprouted quickly but didn’t put down roots, so when the sun came up it withered just as quickly. Some fell in the weeds; as it came up, it was strangled by the weeds. Some fell on good earth, and produced a harvest beyond his wildest dreams. (Matthew 13:3-8, The Message)

Maintaining a healthy spirit

When soil is disrupted, this is a time when weeds take root. When the foundation of your life is being turned over (think: teenagers, any kind of big life transition like the end of a relationship, job loss, health issue), you’re more vulnerable. Ask for help.

Give yourself more time to rest and reflect. You’re setting up the rest of your life. You need to replenish yourself.

It always surprises me how little it takes to go from choice to consequence to habit. A bad choice seems innocuous, small as a seed, “just this once.” But that choice grows and takes root in your life until it’s a habit, like a patch of six-foot-tall ragweed, defiant to change.

We did get most of the ragweed out and we removed the barbed wire fence, all 1,800 feet of it. The ragweed comes back every spring, eager for sunlight. Nature shows us competition: for space in the physical world, the mental world, the spiritual world.

Good soil needs constant nourishment. What are you doing to build the vitality of your spirituality? What will grow in the ground of your life?

Be the good soil and bless the world!

Prayer

May we be people of good soil,
not just asking for the bread of the
harvest but growing,
praying,
praising,
bringing a bountiful harvest
of love and compassion to all we meet.