I used to never swatch. Until now. This year, 2019, is the year of the Swatchwoman.

The year started with failure. I decided to join a crochet-along, abbreviated CAL, as in Crochet-A-Long. We would get a pattern from the designer every so often and work on it at the same time, sharing the fun of making items together.

It was fun. In the beginning. Before my failure. Before I began swearing and throwing (soft yarn) things across the room.

Failure tested what I thought of myself. It made me question what direction I was going with my craft.

Was I going to let a little yarn square stop me from doing what I wanted?

I realized I had a lot to learn about crochet.

I didn’t just want to learn, I wanted to learn to teach so I can support others in their quest and encourage them through their failures. I signed up for the CYC Crochet Instructor program and started the challenge of improving myself.

After months of doing and redoing swatches, I made 16 that might be good enough. This week I mailed them to my master teacher so she can review them for the CYC Crochet Instructor program.

Now it’s out of my hands, literally.

No matter what, I am a stronger craftsperson today than I was a year ago. I know how to swatch and make the correct gauge.

This process has shown me that while I might not be good at crochet, I am still a lucky person.

I have people in my life who care about me and what I am doing, even if it is something small like twirling yarn just so.

I have a patient partner who propped me up when I was frustrated and cheered me on when I wanted to give up. If I don’t pass the crochet instructor test, I know he will be there for me, with a hug and a cup of tea.

In this way, there is no way I can fail.