change – Page 2 – Light to grow in; reflections by Genevieve Howard

The larval stage of dragonflies may last as long as five years. The adult stage when they have wings and can fly only lasts as long as five or six months. (Wikipedia)

Imagine that today, June 19, 2013, is the beginning of your last five years. Imagine your life will come to a peaceful end on June 19, 2018.

How do you feel? Is it less time that you expect, or more? Does it seem like enough time?

What will your contribution be?

What do you still have left to do that will make your life complete?

Live in the time you have

A person of zest and vitality is present. Older people are often happier because they know they don’t have much time left. They appreciate small moments—wild daisies next to road, the antics of a squirrel or a playful baby in the grocery cart in front of them. They let go of worry over insignificant things.

The happiest people pay attention. As you slow down, your sense of time stretches out like a summer evening on the porch as the sun reaches across the pasture, brushing the grass seed heads with gold.

We often chase imaginary moments and conditional circumstances. When I am like this, then I will be like that. When I am thinner, I will be happy. When I am richer, I will be secure. When this is settled, then I can relax.

Be happy now. Feel secure now. Relax now. Don’t neglect the moment you already have. Live inside it, make it your home. Occupy it with your own sense of style. Deepen your experience.

Be silly

You might as well have the most fun you can in your last five years, right? Do you want a lack of embarrassment or stories to tell? As my friend Debbie does, make your own dance floor. Bring your own party.

Playfulness makes joy!

Name your places, things, actions

In your last five years, where would you go? Would you keep living where you are? Make a date to move if you’re not in the place you belong.

Is there someplace you want to visit? Set a travel date during the next five years.

What have you longed for that you don’t have—a talking parrot, a yacht with a chef or a beauty pageant crown? Right now, make a list of what you want but don’t have, and then write why you want it.

What do you need to do with your last five years? Are you doing the right work? What do you still need to learn or read or make? Write it down.

Will your spiritual practices sustain you as you face the end of your life? Make a note of what you need for strength and grace. Include notes on how you will pursue these practices.

The people of your life

Who do you need to see more of?

Who do you need to stay away from?

Pledge that you will surround yourself with only those who support your true self and you will avoid those who tear you down. I’m not saying to only be with those who agree with you. Conflict is natural. It’s good to be challenged by differences in perspective and personality. But protect yourself from those who hurt you and treat you as if you’re worthless. Your time is valuable. You are valuable.

What do you need to say? Make amends where needed. Put your heart in words to those you love.

Who needs time with you?

All the important people in your life will treasure more connection, more memories and more experiences with you.

Be with them. Bless them with your presence.

Live your life as if these are your last five years. Make it meaningful. Make it count.

Do you want to make a change that seems overwhelming? You can succeed in a daunting situation using three ideas from the theater:

Practice
Putting it on
Pretending as-if

One of my earliest lessons in the power of using external elements for change was in my early 20s.

I’d spent most of my time either wandering in Europe or working in food service when I was back in the States until I saved enough money to go back to Europe.

As my money went to hostels and plane tickets, I couldn’t afford a car. I got around Santa Cruz on my motorcycle in good weather and on the bus in bad.

My undergrad degree was in language studies, so I knew a good deal about linguistics and medieval France, but little about modern day American business.

I looked around and saw that there weren’t many opportunities to move upward in the places I worked. Until I took a managerial role (undesirable) or an ownership track (even less desirable), I could see that I’d still be making lattés in 10 years.

I decided I would work in an office because offices seemed to hold promotional powers that cafés didn’t. I had the ability to smile and to type. I still needed more and this is where the boldness of theater helped me.

How did I go from hippie mocha maker to a professional with good prospects?

Practice

First, I practiced my introduction. I stood in the mirror and presented myself. I worked on smiling before I answered the phone as I’d read that a smile makes your voice sound friendlier when you answer.

What will you need to do in your new role? Practice it in the safety of home or with a friend. The more you get used to the newness in privacy, the smoother it will go when you try it in public. Memorize what you need to know and say. Just like an actor runs through his lines, polish your message until it’s perfect. You’ll be ready to shine when the curtain rises!

Put it on

I needed an outfit to support me in my new career path. I imagined women who worked in offices wore silk shirts. I went to a second-hand store and bought a deep blue silk shirt with a large bow in front. Once I was in my silk shirt, I felt different. This is the power of costume.

An actor knows that clothing helps you become a different person. As my basketball player son told me, “When I put on the jersey, I’m no longer me. I’m part of the team.”

Find the outfit that fits your new role. Which clothes make you feel strong and powerful? Is there a certain color you feel most confident in?

Pretend as-if

Finally, I thought about business people and sought to act like one. I was nervous when I went to interview and present myself as a professional.

Would they see I knew more about layering espresso in foamed milk than operating computers and phone switchboards? Inside I was as squirrely as a rodent about to fight over the last acorn.

I wasn’t familiar with business culture but I acted as if I was a competent office worker and guess what? I have my own office now!

I feel a sense of belonging in my office. I’ve made it a comfortable place where I can be productive and welcome my coworkers. My office is called Gen’s Zen Den. I’m glad I dared to make a change and try a new career.

Act confident today, be confident tomorrow!

You don’t have to feel confident to seem confident. Practice what you’ll need to do. Dress the part. Act as if you know what you’re doing. Watch and learn.

You won’t feel out of place for long. Time is a great friend—soon you will know what you’re doing and feel confident!

Which techniques helped you seem confident when you felt the opposite? Tell me about them!

Tag: change

These are your last 5 years