May 2013 – Light to grow in; reflections by Genevieve Howard

Too tired to rest? 10 ways to recharge!

May 29, 2013May 29, 2013Posted in UncategorizedTagged Health, Relaxation8 Comments

Take a moment. How do you feel? Energized or frazzled? Research shows that one in five people feel tired at any given time.

How often do you tell yourself, “I have to push through this.” Have you been in the habit of pushing through for so long that you’ve forgotten what it’s like to live a light and relaxed life?

Your well-being is important!

I invite you to loosen the reins and let yourself have some breathing space. You don’t have to push all the time. Soften the hard edges and brittle places. Kindness to self leads to patience, flexibility and kindness to others. The more you can restore yourself, the more you will fill every room you enter with positivity and grace.

True relaxation helps you. You’ll think with clarity and have a better attitude.

A little while ago, I realized I was mentally exhausted and in need of renewal. These are the ten ways I’ve been using to refresh.

1. Move that body!

Get up and stretch! Breathe. Walk and run and dance. Shake off the dust and get yourself going!

2. Be in nature.

Reconnect to the natural rhythm of the world. Sit by a river. Immerse yourself in the fresh green fluttering leaves. Daydream as you look at the sky. Watch squirrels dash up trees. When the sun falls, lose your worries to the music of starlight and the background crackle of the bonfire.

3. Soak in a bubble bath.

Recipe for revitalizing after a rough day? Candles, something to drink and warm water to melt away your tension. You might try adding Epsom salts for an even more relaxing time. Warm towels to wrap up in afterward make it luxurious.

4. Feel the air on your skin from the wind or a fan.

Let the air wake you up! I love a windy day for feeling invigorated.

5. Nap and read.

If you can nap, do it! Bonus points for being in comfy pajamas. I’m not a natural day sleeper but I appreciate stretching out on the couch with a dumb book. I like the kind where nothing too bad happens and the end is tidy. Everyone paired off with a smile!

6. Smell something delightful.

Jasmine in the evening, vanilla and cinnamon while I bake in the kitchen, fresh cut grass on a June afternoon, the neck of my horse warmed from the sun, musky men’s cologne.

7. Taste happy food.

What’s yours? I like the sharp freshness of oranges and grapefruit. Maybe you’d like a big glass bowl of salty buttered popcorn? Or a steak from the grill? Eat the food that nourishes your body and soul.

8. Drink water (and tea).

Most of us don’t drink enough water. We get sluggish and headachy from dehydration. Drink water first thing in the morning when you wake up and keep the fluids going all day. As the granddaughter of an Englishman, I’m a lifelong tea drinker. I keep a tea chest close! For a super recharge, try drinking some green tea with honey and then resting for 20 minutes. The nap/tea combo will liven you up!

9. Pray.

Center your mind on God. Let the peace that transcends understanding flow around and within you.

10. Be a friend.

Invite a friend for a cup of tea (see #8). Enjoy a fun visit laughing or a more serious heart-to-heart. Whatever the kind of conversation, a good companion gives you energy. Love lifts you up.

The most important thing is to be a friend to yourself!

What do you do to recharge your body and spirit? I’d love to hear from you in the comments!

Please touch the prayer shawls

May 22, 2013May 22, 2013Posted in UncategorizedTagged art, crochet, Knitting, Prayer, Shawl2 Comments

I had the opening for my prayer shawl display at the MU Staff Arts and Crafts Showcase this week. What a fun time! If you were one of people who visited with me, thanks for coming. If you didn’t get a chance to make it, don’t worry, you’ll get a taste of the show here.

Please do touch

I heard the same remark from more than eight people. It went something like, “I thought your sign said, ‘Please don’t touch the prayer shawls.’ But then I realized that it said to touch them!”

I wanted to invite people to touch the shawls because they are not just for the eyes. The feel of the different stitches and fibers is part of the experience of a prayer shawl. You need your hands to understand the warmth, weight and intention in the shawl.

How many ways are we geared to see what we expect, even when we’re wrong? We think the sign says “Don’t touch” even when it says “Touch!” We have habits of limitation that are worth breaking.

Please do touch the prayer shawls!

More from the show

A shawl about finding a true home and belonging

A shawl about making family out of friends

The purple shawl is about how the unknown might be better than the known, the silver is about compassion

A prayer scarf about accepting the gifts from those who have gone before us

A shawl from this Lent about sacrifice and forgiveness

A shawl for someone with bright blue eyes and a sparkly personality

This prayer shawl is about happiness and joy

My friends who made the prayer shawl wooden racks for the displays (thank you!)

The things not posted

May 15, 2013May 14, 2013Posted in UncategorizedTagged Facebook, Mother's Day, relationships6 Comments

It was Mother’s Day last weekend. I stayed off social media on purpose. Mother’s Day has always been a complicated day for me, for as long as I remember.

There are many who have close, supportive and loving relationships with their moms. I’m not one of them.

Non-gushy greeting cards

While my mom was alive, my relationship with her was confusing, complicated and unpredictable. Mother’s Day was an exercise in choosing a card that wasn’t gushy. I avoided anything that said, “Best.” If you haven’t shopped for a non-gushy Mother’s Day card, you’ve missed a challenge. It’s like looking for a Valentine’s card without a heart.

Now that she’s passed on, I don’t have to shop for a card anymore. The rest of my life will be motherless. But my relationship with her hasn’t ended. The resurrection of our relationship happened in forgiveness.

In being a mother myself, I see the impossibility of it. I have the good fortune to be sane. I don’t grapple with mental illness as she did and I still have days where I’m not the patient, loving mom I want to be. In raising my own son and writing my memoir, I understand what she faced and why she failed in the ways she did.

But how would I post that on Facebook? “Here’s a photo of my mom and I have mixed feelings about her.”

Not fitting the idealized picture

Mother’s Day is a hard day for those who have lost their mothers. You might feel like staying in bed and letting the day pass you by. If you are in this group, you’re not alone. It’s OK to feel sad, despite all the wishes of Happy Mother’s Day! Break the rules. If feeling sad because you miss her feels like the right thing to do, then I wish you a Sad Mother’s Day! You’re sad because you loved her.

There is the celebration of children on Mother’s Day. “Look at the flowers my son gave me! Here’s the glittery card they made at school! I was treated to breakfast in bed of Eggs Benedict!” I have the good fortune to have a healthy son right now but I’m aware that it’s not always the case. What about those who have children who are different? Children with developmental issues or health problems, children who will never understand the concept of Mother’s Day, let alone organize making a breakfast for it. Did you see any posts from mothers who wrote, “My son doesn’t make eye contact with me but I love him anyway and I’m doing the best I can to be a good mother.”

I don’t see the painful posts from the women who wanted to become mothers but didn’t. The words of, “I wanted to be a mother but miscarriages/finances/sterility/relationship issues/life got in the way so I’ll never know motherhood.”

What we see on Facebook can make others’ lives seem smooth and happy. If your own life seems grittier, harder and not as happy, consider the possibility of the things not posted.

Four points of prayer shawls

May 8, 2013May 4, 2016Posted in UncategorizedTagged Blessing, crochet, faith, Knitting, Prayer, Shawl, Yarn4 Comments

If you enjoy the spiritual dimension of crafting, you might enjoy my book, Creative Women’s Devotional: 28 Reflections for Christian Knitters and Crocheters.

Too often things made by hand, and especially women’s arts and crafts, are relegated to the trivial. Prayer shawls elevate something simple to a tangible gift of depth and meaning. After learning the four points of prayer shawls, you’ll understand the act and importance of making, giving and using prayer shawls.

Invitation to Art Show May 21

Come see for yourself! I invite you to see and touch my prayer shawls during the upcoming MU Staff Art Showcase May 21 from noon to 1 p.m. in Ellis Library, upstairs in room 201, University of Missouri campus. The art show runs from Tuesday, May 21 through Thursday, May 23 if you can’t make the opening. Parking for those off campus is available behind Memorial Union with metered spots (enter from University Avenue to go behind Memorial) or on the top level of Turner Avenue Garage.

When hard times threaten

Imagine you’re facing a hard time in your life.

You are looking at a difficult health situation like cancer or a tough change like a break-up or job loss. You’re not sure where the happy, healthy you is.

You might be feeling the pinch between the time you have to give and the time needed to meet all the requirements of your life. You feel the pressure to be a good parent, a patient caretaker or a reliable friend.

It might be that you wonder if you still matter. Maybe there are other more vibrant people around and you feel faded in comparison.

Comfort for hard times

What you need is an arm around your shoulder and a sense that you’re blessed in all your circumstances, good and bad, bright and dark. You need to know the loving hand of the holy holds you.

What can give you a feeling of protection and comfort? What is a tangible reminder of the spirit?

A prayer shawl made from love, yarn, time and prayers infuses the wearer with warmth in body and spirit.

Four point of prayer shawls

1. Prayer shawls heal the maker

Research shows that doing a repetitive and rhythmic action with your hands such as knitting and crochet has psychological benefits. You have less stress and experience a sense of calm while doing crafts. Combine this action with the contemplative practice of prayer and you have a powerful way to bring body, mind and spirit together.

As a maker, you focus on the moment. When you concentrate on the present, you open yourself to a fresh source of energy. Both prayer and craft combine to draw you out of your worries and into your deeper self.

2. Prayer shawls heal the receiver

As a receiver, you have a healing item to wrap around you. With a gentle weight and cozy curl around your shoulders, you can rest secure in the knowledge that someone took time to make a gift for you. All the prayers, thoughts and hopes that went into the stitches surround you. A prayer shawl around you allows you to feel safe and valued.

You can always have a hug from your friend even if she’s not there. You can put on the prayer shawl when you meditate, want to feel inspiration or need a reminder that you’re loved.

3. Prayer shawls connect the past to the present

We live in a time of rushing, selfishness and distraction. How often are you late for something? How often do you only give someone half of your attention—if even that much—because your mind is already gone to the next place you need to be? Or because you’re out of practice, you don’t pay attention to anything anymore? The act of stopping to sit and crochet while praying on each new loop brings us back to a time when the pace of life was humane. It does us good to slow down and think stitch by stitch, prayer by prayer. It builds our depth of concentration.

In moments of contemplation, we hear the song of the spirit and see ourselves as a small part in a greater whole. Someone made the yarn, someone transported the yarn, someone sold the yarn, someone made the prayers that made the shawl and someone accepted the gift of the shawl.

The texture of yarn sliding through our fingers as we loop it together reminds us that making something by hand is an ancient art, as old as humanity. We haven’t always lived in an industrial, technological age with machines embedded in our lives and devices stuck in our hands. It helps us to have the flexibility of fiber between our fingers, rather than only the flatness of screens and rectangles.

4. Prayer shawls embody the power of simplicity, prayer and caring

A shawl is a simple form of clothing. Women often used shawls so they could stay warm and nurse their babies easily. Many cultures use shawls as protection because they can be fashioned into different items as needed, as a cover from the sun during the day and then wrapped around the neck and shoulders at night. For thousands of years, shawls have protected and decorated us, from the ancient Israelites to modern-day women dressed for a summer wedding.

Prayer can also be simple. A call to the divine can be one word, said with intention.

Caring about someone else is a pure act. To want good things for another brings us out of our selfish concern and focuses our mind on community. Generosity helps everyone. Making an item and giving it away is a bigger stretch than any purchase.

Combine a simple piece of clothing with prayer and affection. Give it away. This is the prayer shawl.

Would you like more information on prayer shawls?

Shawl Ministry

Nancy Monson, Craft to Heal

Blessing

I leave you with this blessing, knit in words, a prayer shawl made of letters for you.

May you feel the presence of God in
hands of the holy on your shoulders with
warmth and weight to feel steady.

In this moment, you can rest.
Your shoulders drop and you relax.

Let the arms of love wrap you
snug to know you’re valued.
You are loved.

May you be at peace in this moment,
the peace of kind hands and wise souls,
the peace of a quiet evening
next to the river where
spring peepers call and starlight gleams,
the peace of friendship offered and accepted.

Peace be with you.

Broken hand to pray with (excerpt five)

May 1, 2013May 1, 2013Posted in UncategorizedTagged faith, Memoir, Writing8 Comments

Memoir update

Good news! I reached my goal for 25,000 words in April toward the memoir. My two writing friends also reached their word count goals.

This go-round, I used Scrivener writing software (free trial from Literature and Latte) to lay out the book before I wrote. Wow! It was a world of difference to have an outline and a plan before I wrote.

I wrote about half the speed I did in November. It could take me hours and four cups of tea to get to 1,000 words. It might be the difference between free writing (November-style) vs. writing something another person can make sense of (April-style) but I’m happy with what I have from both times.

I’ll take my draft from November and fill in pieces of April’s draft and see what I end up with. For example, I really liked what I wrote about my childhood newt in November. (You had a childhood newt, too, right? Doesn’t everyone?)

Thank you, everyone, for the encouragement. Your belief in me and my story means more to me than you know.

I’ll keep writing and editing the memoir. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Next week we’ll return to regular blog posts!

Wishing

As we were wiping up at the end of our shift, Mike asked, “You need a ride, hon?”

I said that I did. We made plans and punched out with our time cards on the top of the time clock.

Out in the night air, we walked together to Mike’s red sedan. He opened the passenger door for me.

He drove me up to the 24-hour truck stop just on the edge of town.

We slid into one of the booths. We looked over the stained paper menu

“What looks good?” he said.

“It is after midnight, so I guess technically it’s morning. Maybe I’ll get some breakfast,” I said.

“Breakfast does sound good,” he agreed.

We ordered full breakfast platters and we weren’t disappointed. Our gum-chewing waitress served us long ovals plates of fried eggs, shredded hash browns, hardened bacon strips, shiny sausage links and toast cut into six triangles with a scoop of light margarine on top. Drops of grease dotted the plate edges.

At the counter, a truck driver leaned over his food while his cigarette sat in the ashtray. Outside his truck lights glowed in the mist coming off the St. Croix River next to the diner. He made small talk with the waitress and the cook behind the metal counters.

Mike and I ate our food and laughed. We pretended to fence with our bacon; it was as stiff as swords. He teased me for putting sugar and creamers in my coffee and I called him crazy for drinking it black.

We finished our meal and left the waitress a huge tips. People who have worked in service leave the biggest tips because they know how hard the work is. I can always tell when someone is stingy with the tip that they are spoiled and don’t know what it is to have aching feet.

He opened the car door for me. As we drove, I looked through the patches of cloud and saw a shooting star.

“Quick! Make a wish!”

We talked about shooting stars.

“You know they’re not real stars, sweetie.”

I didn’t. I was disappointed to learn I had been wishing on space debris all that time. But if there was anyone who was going to tell me the truth about shooting stars, I wanted it to be him with his soft eyes and gentle voice. He didn’t tease me for being stupid or not knowing much about how things worked in the world.

“Keep wishing, Gen. Keep wishing on them and hoping for things in your heart. That’s one of the things I love about you, how you get so excited and wish for things.”

* * *

I still wish on stars, 25 years later. Even if it is on space debris, I’m still making wishes. I still hope for things in my heart.